Holding onto hope!

Lots has been going on around here lately and all the dogs are very curious with the arrival of our little calves….yay!

It’s the one time of year that everyone wants to spend time in the pasture to checkout the new playmates. These little calves are usually up and running around trying out their kickers, with tails in the air and kicking for all their might. Of course they usually get going a bit too fast and loose their footing but hop right back up like they never missed a beat. Bandit makes his way up to the pen a couple times a day to see if anything has changed.

Wally well he only goes in the pen to see if there’s anything new to roll in, which of course there is…..much to my aggravation. Wally is also scared of his own shadow so I guess I am not shocked that he’s scared to death when this one little calf follows him all over the place and he freaks out.

Bandit of course watching this looks at Wally like…what the heck is wrong with you and then will look at me like….well go help save Wally from his freakout session again. I swear if Bandit could talk he’d tell Wally it’s time to stop being such a baby and laugh at him.

The other day Wally had 3 baths in less than 24 hours…ugh why why why must dogs roll in crap and then parade around like they’re so proud of the fact they smell like a turd! Uhmmm yuk! Bandit went swimming again the other day and enjoyed it. I don’t take his little brother Wally along anymore because Bandit seems to get too nervous while swimming out to get sticks if Wally is there. So now they just go one at a time. The following day Bandit was very sore but seems to be feeling well this morning. He’s a trooper and full of love, strength and loyalty….gotta love that!

Hope you all had a safe and fun 4th of July!    Love~ Misty & Bandit

Hello everyone….wow it’s been along time since we’ve written anything but from time to time we did swing by to read about all the other Tripawds.  Burr…..it sure was a long cold winter, Bandit was loving the cold powder of the snow that first month but then we had gotten rain which left a hard crust on the deep snow, so it became hard for him to get around and he no longer wanted to go to play. He really didn’t like the plowed driveway or the paths either I think he felt to uneasy being on them because they were slippery. Thankfully our winter was shorter than most winters, we both were really looking forward to springs arrival…a bit house happy! Summer finally arrives…..Yay! Bandit is loving it and doing pretty good, however there are days when he’s sore, once in awhile he still has muscle spasms in his back legs that I still massage out and he gets a bit stiff mostly caused from over doing it the day before busy chasing all those critters that come out to play in the sunshine. On the days he wants to just lay around we put blankets on the covered porch and leave the front door open so he can keep an eye on everything because he always wants to be in the “know” yep he’s still the leader of this pack we have. He especially seems the most concerned as to where I am and where his naughty lil “follower” Wally is. Wally (little golden almost 2 years old) is still a handful of naughty and laughter, if he isn’t driving Bandit crazy with his constant neediness he’s digging holes in the yard which we call “boobie traps” for Bandit….not good having those around having a dog with only 3 legs so a shovel and grass seed is always kept handy. It’s funny because Bandit gets so annoyed with Wally but yet if I’m outside yelling for Wally and he dosen’t come right away Bandit is just in a panic looking around for him. Kind of a love hate relationship…..Wally loves Bandit to death and Bandit loves to hate on Wally…LOL! This spring Bandit took off with the others in an attempt to tree a squirrel, not realizing that he can no longer just fly under the barbwire fence and he cut the top of his head open, good news is it didn’t need stitches and he no longer goes to fly under it now he’ll run upto the gate and give me that look like “hurry it up get it open” oh he has to take part in the chase or he’s all upset. About a month ago we took Bandit down to the lake and he went right in after that stick, swimming around like nothing was even different. It’s funny because when people see him most don’t even realize until he gets right up next to them that his leg is missing and then they kind of a freaked out by it but then when little kids see him rather than being a bit scared of him like they used to now they all want to check it out, touch him and ask me questions….gotta love kids they are just innocent and inquisitive by nature. I am still as grateful today as I was 8 months ago for having this site to go to just because knowing Bandit and I are not alone to this day brings me a sense of peace! Hope you all have a really great Memorial Day Weekend!

Goodnite Everyone Love~ Misty & Bandit

Opening weekend of deer season and since we live out in the sticks we had to put on some orange like we do every year to be safe!

Good Morning Everyone! We hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving, if you’re not someone celebrates it, well I hope you had a good day anywho! Sorry we haven’t wrote in awhile but Bandit is still doing pawsome! He’s such a trooper and still has he trademark…head turning when being spoken to…we feel lucky. His legs are doing much better and have been much stronger, don’t get us wrong there are still days when he has some muscle spasms but they aren’t like they were that 2nd and 3rd week after surgery. There are still certain days that he’ll come lay at my feet as if he’s asking me to rub those darn back legs to loosen them up, sometimes I wonder if he might milk it a bit….hahaha….well he is smart enough to out fox a fox…no joke. Ol’ Mr. Winter has arrived up here in Northern Wisconsin and this time I think it’s here to stay…burr. I hope it’s a short winter so I can take Bandit swimming sooner rather than later. I worry a bit about how he’ll do, not with the snow but the ice we seem to get, I’ll just have to keep a close eye on him. Early last week Bandit went to go outside and rather than run down his ramp he thought he’d try to fly down the stairs which at times he does use the stairs but on this day he wasn’t paying much attention other than hoping he’d catch that darn squirrel because he like hit the first step, missing the other two and fell, landing on the rock sidewalk…ughh! Thank God he jumped right up like he never missed a beat and chased that squirrel, I of course almost started crying and was chasing after him to make sure he really was okay. So now we’ve been back to everytime he goes outside I lead him down the ramp by his collar, which he does not like at all…Mr. Independent:) We’ve only been back to the Vet one since the last I had written and that was just for another check up, Bandit is digging that. Now when he gets to cruise along it’s usually to Grama’s house or to the market, he of course prefers his Grama’s because he really milks it over there, she really loves up on him….funny. Not much has happened lately, well at least not in our dog’s world, same ol’ routine for them. Bandit is the guardian full of determination and wisdom, Josie Rose is most always concerned about the squirrels, she’ll actually sit under the tree for hours if I’d let her and “Lil” Wally is still busy getting into things he shouldn’t and running hot laps plum full of crazy energy. Speaking of Wally, Bandit is still nervous at times when Wally’s running around nuts and he’ll give him looks like, “stop it kid” but they are back to snuggling up together for naps.  As for us 2 legged members of the family, we are all good and looking forward to the Holidays…time with family and friends! I told my Husband the other day that he don’t need to get me anything for Christmas that I am just greatful he let me empty our savings to save my dog, being very seriously grateful of course. He turned toward me with a smile and said, “yeah I think I’m good on the Christmas shopping for like the next 5 years” and chuckled. Sometimes that’s what a person needs though…some laughter! In a couple weeks I am heading home to visit my Dad, Sister, other family and friends and taking Bandit and Wally with. This otta be a trip, not so sure what I’m thinking here. I just hope Bandit does okay and can handle the 3 1/2 hour ride, he loves to go places he’s just not big on driving for very long and Wally on the other hand, well he’ll probably be bouncing off the dash. I may regret this and wish I’d had just left them home with their Father…guess I’ll find out:) As I sit here to write this I often think of Jake and his family, the other “amputee angels” and there families….I pray that everyone is doing well and hanging in there! I sometimes go back and read my very first post I had wrote for my blog and I still tear up, that feeling of panic and overwhelming fear was unreal. I was so lost, scared and confused….I pray for all the dogs who’ve been told they have cancer and other doggy parents who’ve had to experience this! It’s a tough road but one that can be humbling and healing for both dog and owner. I still feel very fortunate to have found this site and to have made the friends and connections with the people on here. After we got Bandit home from the hospital I thought I’d write on here something like day ??/week ?? and what’s been happening but it didn’t happen that way. Over the last month I have really learned to live in the moment and not for the day because that’s how dog’s especially cancer thriving and surviving dog’s live their life, we don’t know what the future holds but we do know that by living in the moment we take much more notice of the little things that really matter! I am grateful that Bandit is still here and for the life I have!

Until next time…I hope you all have a wonderful week. Love ~ Misty & Bandit

While everyone else is hunting deer…these dogs are only concerned with the squirrels we feed : )

Well our appointment went better than we had thought it might…thank goodness! This was the first time ever taking Bandit to the Vet that I literally didn’t have to drag him through the double doors, which was shocking. He acted as if he knew this time it would be okay and he was all excited to see the girls, that was short lived though. Once he made his rounds getting his head rubbed and talked to by them he thought he’d had enough and wanted to try and drag me otta there…no such luck for him we needed his stitches removed and his rear end looked at. His favorite Doctor who encourages him that it’s okay said that his scar looked good other than the very lowest part which looked a bit bruised and she was wondering if that was from laying on it so much or him licking on it, but no infection. After those were out we all went outside so that she could observe him walking and running. She checked his reflexes to be sure they were working properly because if not that would indicate neurological issues and she said that they were good and she doesn’t believe it is that at all. She did some stretching exercises to his legs and said that his right hind leg is good but he wouldn’t let her extend his left rear leg very far (this is the side that had the front limb removal) and that it seemed to bother him more. She does believe that he’ll continue to gain strength and muscle mass as time goes on and reminded me that it is still very early in his recovery but she does want me to bring him back early next week to look at his legs. I asked her why when I take him outside does he want to take off at more of a run rather than a slow walk and she said that by him going faster it’s actually easier for him because he has less weight on each leg at one time and it’s more a strind motion rather than a hop. She thought his balance was very good and said that at this point if he’d rather go a bit faster than slower to let him since he is more comfortable with that but don’t let him over do it at all. Than came the dreaded scale, Bandit acts as if he’s going to fall through the darn floor when we walk him across it….funny! We were all thrilled to know Bandit’s new diet plan is working. The day they took him in for amputation surgery he weighed 139 pounds and is now down to 117 pounds….wonderful! She said to try to get him down at least another 7 to 10 pounds and make sure he maintains that weight. We bought another big bucket of glucosamine/vitamin chews (they smell like dark chocolate candy and Bandit loves them), grabbed his anti inflammatory pills and headed back home. It was a good day and like any day that is good after going through this…..it is humbling and makes a person realize one should be grateful for these small moments of happiness and good news because these are the important ones! Good night everyone and we’ll be sending prayers out tonight for all our Tripawd friends and their Mom’s, Dad’s and families!  ~ Love, Misty and Bandit

Hello everyone and thank you all for your comments and concerns…sorry I haven’t posted lately. Things around here have been so hectic…wow! Uhmm were to start…well Bandit had been doing wonderful the first 6 days and since then things have been very hard to be honest! I understand at times he’ll have days when he gets a little blue and tired more than others but that isn’t the big problem. His rear legs aren’t doing very well and it is breaking my heart! For the most part he wants to go do something and is bored to death but when he even tries to get up to go do something his legs spasm something terrible. I have spent countless hours daily massaging them and doing ice/heat therapy day and night. He’s only had like 2 good days in the last week were they didn’t hurt so bad. I had talked to our Vet regarding this and she said that it may take sometime for his legs to build the strength he needs and to continue with the massage and therapy. Tomorrow is his 2 week post-op visit to have his stitches removed and hopefully that goes well, his incision was healing nicely until the last 2 days it appears that some blood has formed under the surface near the lower part of the incision. I am wondering if he might have licked that area too much or if something more is wrong. It almost looks like a really bad hicky and it is about 2 inches long by a 1 inch wide. I called the Vet tonight just to confirm he isn’t bleeding internally and to see if this is something I should be really concerned aboout. They said no, just to keep his shirt on him even if he don’t like it, little do they know he still licks that area once in awhile….shirt on or off. Then again he’s always had that nervous problem f licking himself, so I’m sure they’re not suprised just as we aren’t. I don’t know what to do to help him anymore regarding his legs and nothing seems to be working as well as I hope for. I do try my hardest to keep his spirits up and play with him on the floor with his toys and talk his ear off just so he knows that I am pulling for him! When he stands up you can literally watch his thighs spasm which makes him very unsteady in his back end. Today was the first day in a week that he felt a bit better and all day he kept jumping up and back down and I kept telling him to just relax and clam down…he is so bored to death. In fact a couple times I even had to use my “guy” voice to tell him to stop it and of course he gave me that look like, “really you’re going to go there with me”…kinda funny although I was trying not smile at him for giving me such a look. And now tonight he is paying the price, his back legs just hurt terribly. I can prevent him from trying to take off while outside or moving around too much in the house but him jumping up and back down so many times in a day I just can’t seem to prevent him from doing that. Oh how I wish we didn’t live in Northern Wisconsin right now so he could go swimming but since it’s almost time for ice fishing we’ll have to wait…bummer! You see…Bandit’s always been the pack leader and the guardian around here so whenever he hears something or smells something he’s up to check it out or give out that big bark of his. I don’t blame him for being bored and wanting to run chase chipmunks, play with the other dogs, stroll through the woods and check on the the cows…that was his daily routine and right now that has all changed. I keep reminding him and myself that he’ll do that again…just give him time to get better! I keep wondering has anyone else who has a tripawd even had this issue and were might I find that person so I can get some pointers and find out how their dog is doing. I’ve read so many blogs and vet sites but can’t find anything. I am just scared that there might be a small chance it isn’t going to get better but I don’t stay in that thought process long because that sure and the heck don’t help either of us. Of course with 2 of our 3 Vets disappointed in the fact that we choose to go this route it will be a heart wrenching day at our appointment tomorrow….I’m sure because they’ll probably give us a look like “we told you so”, I am really hoping they don’t because I just don’t need that crap right now and neither does Bandit! Our appointment is scheduled with the one Vet who was for it though so that’s better news. On another good note…Bandit appears to have lost weight and I am really watching his diet closely and he is loving his chicken broth, carrots and rice soup that he gets almost daily. Another thing he’s enjoying is dehydrated apple rings and his daily 2 all natural dog biscuits and rawhide stick. He was having trouble taking a #2 but between the apple rings and pumpkin pie from the can (which he isn’t real big on…I have to stick it in his mouth in order for him to eat it) things are back on track in that department as well. Well I am going to get off here and go massage his legs before I head to bed tonight, we’ll write again later this week. Oh and if anyone has any advice as to how or what may help with Bandit’s legs please let us know, it would be greatly appreciated! Bandit does though continue to amaze me with his determination, love and lets not forget how he still turns his head from side to side as I talk to him…gosh I love him! Goodnight & God Bless all these wonderful tripawd dogs!

Good Morning Everyone! Bandit is doing amazingly well….much to our relief! We received a call yesterday morning at 9AM from the Doctor, she said Bandit is up and doing pawsome and much to their disbelief he was getting up on his own, hopping around and even went outside to go pee. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and some prayers were answered. My Husband & I went and picked him about 10:30AM while my Mom came up to sit with Aust. When he seen us he couldn’t hop fast enough, I sat down by him and he just buried his head into my chest, all the while wagging his tail….well enough of that he says as he made his way to the door as if he was telling me time to hit the road. Matt & I weren’t as shocked to see him as I thought we might had been and I think the reason why was because of the Tripawds site being so helpful in preparing us for the road ahead….THANK YOU! One thing did kind of hurt my feeling while at the office though…2 of the 3 Vets came out and you could tell by the way they looked at us that they very much disapproved and were disappointed by our decision to go ahead with the amputation (I must be grateful however they did a great job on his surgery and have always taken great care of our animals) and although I can see their concerns I was not about to put Bandit down because of the pain in his paw when he had so much life left in him yet. On the other hand the newest younger Vet on their team I believe was for it and you could tell she was happy to see him doing so great and that she supported our decision. Like she said, “he wasn’t using it anymore anyways and it had cancer, so why not remove it” that was good to hear. Getting him into the truck was easy but when we got home it was a bit harder to figure out how to get him out, it’s not like we could just grab him because of all the stitches and you don’t want to hurt him. Eventually we just carried the new ramp Matt had built for the of the front house over and he hopped his way down with our help. Once we got in the house Austin (still not feeling good but I already checked dogs can’t get H1N1) went and laid next to him ontop of all the blankets laying around. You could tell Bandit was just as relieved to be home, as we all were to have him home. Grama even had a suprise care package on the kitchen table for him…some natural dog treats, a stuffed teddybear and a ruff wear dog harness…she sure is a great Grama! For the most part he was just his normal self just not running around as much. He’d jump up and bark if he heard something, hop from the living back into the kitchen and wanted to be part of everything like always. Because we live out in the country the only time we ever put a lease on Bandit is to go for a walk on the road or into town. So when I clipped the lease on Bandit automatically he must have thought oh it’s time for a walk which I didn’t realize he’d think until he started dragging me down the driveway and out toward our normal walking path. I had to stop him and try to get him to come back home telling him nope no walk today…of course he just kept turning his head from side to side like what is going on…funny! I eventually had to take the lease off so he’d understand we weren’t going on a walk today…he was bummed. Another obstacle is he never goes to the bathroom in the yard so trying to get him not to take a hike into the woods proves to be another problem for us. We hover over him and he looks at us like “really guys just give me some space”, as if we are driving him nuts. He did enjoy his chicken soup for supper and you could sure tell he was hungry he even wanted to eat Wally’s (our lil Golden puppy). Wally also is very happy Bandit is home but Bandit isn’t as happy to see him considering the little guy makes him a bit nervous with all his puppy energy and his curious nature.  He’s wanting to chew the stitches out for Bandit and pull the pain patches off of Bandit’s back…guess we’ll keep Wally occupied and away for a few days…much to Bandit’s relief I’m sure. I slept with him on the floor last night all the while checking on him and getting up to go check on Austin, today I am a bit tired but I actually feel better today than I have for the last 3 weeks. This morning he was whinning at 6:15AM to go outside so I put on my duds and headed out with him. I let go of his collar to see if he’d go pee and just like that he was on run…happy he can see in the dark and I can’t, pretty sure I looked like the one missing a leg tripping in the woods…ughh! I’d get right next to him and again he’d take off, this too don’t suprise me because ever since he was a puppy if you even looked his direction when he was wanting to do his biz (#2) he’d take off and go find a different spot, guess he don’t like people to watching him…lol! Well I do think he went to the bathroom but then again all I could see was somewhat of his silhouette, then he came hopping back over by me and as we walked back to the house he did stop to pee. For now he’s back on the blankets taking a morning nap, probably wondering when’s lunch. I asked Matt last night do you think we made the right decision and his answer was yes, as for me, yes I do as well. It came down to euthanasia or amputation and I am pretty sure Bandit has some good days left in him yet! We still need to work on his weight that’s forsure but we’ll get there! Thank you to everyone on this site for your comforting words and help and especially to Rene & Jim (and of course Jerry) for giving someone like us a place to find some hope!  Love, Bandit, Misty & family

Tonight is going to be a very long night for Bandit, as well for me. As Bandit and I left the house this morning I kept thinking….this is the last morning that you will use that rotten ol paw that’s filled with cancer….it made me wonder does he know what’s about to happen. It also made me feel torn, questioning my decision but there was also a sense of peace in knowing that this is his only chance to survive and to relieve the pain in his paw. As I dropped Bandit off at 9AM, it about ripped my heart out to leave him there. The girls came out to get him and of course I tried to not cry, handed them his blanket (something familiar might help) and gave him hugs and told him that I love him. He’s so big that he kinda just pulls them around so they usually just stand there and let him watch me walk away and then they say he’ll go right with them without any problems. But today as she stood there holding him, I turned back to look at him as I neared the exit door and he was just sitting at her feet staring at me as if he was so sad…I just smiled to him and began to cry. They didn’t do surgery until later today and they finally had the Vet asst. call me around 6:30PM (OMG it took long enough & felt like forever) to update me. They said the surgery took a bit longer than expected but he is out and the Doctor was actually with him at the time they called because he was just waking up from the surgery. They also said that someone will be checking on him and taking care of him throughout the night which worries me. I keep thinking…I wonder what he is thinking laying there! Does he think I left him for good, is he mad at me for bringing him, is he in pain, is he sad…I just keep wondering what’s going through his head. To make matters worse today I also had to bring my Son to the doctor because he is very sick with the H1N1 virus, so I will be up most the night checking on him amd pacing around. Hopefully Aust feels better tomorrow but they said it could take 5 to 10 days, so I guess some homade chicken soup will be on the menu and I’m sure Bandit will be wanting a sample tomorrow as well. I am excited to pick him up tomorrow and I am just praying that he’s doing okay and will make it through the night, without a lot of pain and sadness:(

Today we decided that it’s time to remove the leg.  As uncertain as our Vets our in doing so because he is so big, they worry about stress fractures or breaks in the good leg and because like any cancer it may have or  may not have spread…the X-rays were clear but that doesn’t mean that a cell couldn’t have between now and then found it’s way somewhere else we have decided we’ll chance it all! At this point all I know is what I feel in my heart and my heart tells me that I can’t let the chronic pain he’s feeling in his paw and being drugged up on meds day and night take away the quality of the life he has left. If we leave it the way it is all we’ll do is watch him suffer and continue to drug him. Yes amputating his leg is going to be devasting and will come with pain as well but not nearly the amount of pain that he is in now or what would be in store for him in another month or two. When I had spoken to the Vets at the UW Madison Vet Hospital all 3 said to amputate because the pain he’ll be in will be unreal and that this was the best chance we had at saving his life. I don’t know what the future holds all I know is….he’d rather be out of pain on only 3 legs than suffering daily on 4! Yes it might spread, yes it may already have but I now realize that it’s time. I will be calling them in the morning to set up a consult for amputation, if they hesitant in this, so be it I will go elsewhere. I know this dog better than most people know the back of their hand and I am here to tell you that when I walk by him or go to lay by him and he instantly put his hurt paw on me or holds it in my face he’s trying to tell me something. I look at him, holding it in my hand and say the same thing everytime, “I am sorry Band, I know it  hurts and I’ll get it figured out”.  As I sit here tonight thinking about the decision I am calling tomorrow to make I find myself  thinking, asking many questions and looking for more answers:  I am not a selfish person and I would lay him to rest if I believed in my heart it was time but I know it’s not, I know that the Xrays don’t show 100% if it has spread but if it has I know the signs and I will deal with that at that time, the only chance we have to save him is to remove his leg and I think if I could ask him, “Bandit you have this one and only shot at a chance to survive, do you want to do it” I honestly think he would, I know that his way of life will change and I know that there will be some hurdles but at least those hurdles aren’t going to be chronic pain 24/7 from a paw. As uncertain as I feel at times with this decision I also feel a sense of relief and peace within my heart…nobody gave me a how to book on dealing and making decisions for your best friend with cancer, so all I can do is read, talk to people in my shoes, listen to my heart, listen to him and read into his eyes. The other day I was standing in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee and looked over to see him standing there on 3 legs, the hurt paw shaking pulled up tight to his chest, with a toy in his mouth, wagging his tail. God I love this dog and I love his strength, determination and the sparkle of his eyes! I wiped the tears from my cheek, smiled, set down my coffee and headed into the living room to play.

Holding onto Hope for a Chance: If the future holds days without pain and one less leg, a chance that the cancer could spread or return, a chance that he could develope a stress fractor, a little less running or should I say a little less hopping being he’ll be on 3, his head still going from side to side as I speak to him as if he’s taking in every word like always…God I love that about him, a few extra naps, a wag of his tail and a sparkle in his eye…what more could I ask for!

Like everything in life…it’s all about chance but if I do nothing the future holds chronic pain that will only worsen, drugged out days, him placing his paw on me as if he needs to show me what hurts, more naps but restless ones because he can’t get comfotable, no wag of the tail or light in his eyes and the whimpering cries….we’ll take the chance! We’ll hold onto hope that no matter how much time is laid before him we gave it all: love, friendship, laughter, smiles and we spared him some major pain along the way, to make it easier for him.

Whenever the day does come were I must lay my faithful best friend to rest without a doubt I will know, I will know by the touch he gives me and the way he looks at me but until then we will live with cancer but will stop letting it consume our lives! We all need to smile, laugh, play and be happy and just breathe again! I hope Bandit knows that I love him and I did my best and I hope it’s enough!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           I’m the girl who never thought she’d have to deal with nor make decisions regarding the life of my best friend, Bandit. For 8 1/2 years he has been a huge part of my life, or I should say our family’s life. He has brought us laughter, loyalty, security and most of all overwhelming happiness and friendship. Much to my heartache my life at the moment feels like a bad dream…..my dog has cancer and I don’t know what to do. I am scared to death to make the wrong decisions! All I do know forsure is that my heart has been broken by this. This is how I ended up here! My hope is that people who have been in my shoes and love their dog as much as I love mine could give me advice and help us. I am holding onto hope! I pray that he knows even if I make the wrong decision along this devasting journey….I really tried to do it all right and that I want him to keep his dignity along the way!